Sheesh. I left my writer's group meeting at 10pm in Waikele, I walked into my apartment at 2am, a journey that takes 30 minutes by car, and 45 by bus. You miss one bus and the whole Rube Goldberg public transportation system just collapses. Why don't governments understand that public transportation needs to run consistently, 24 hours a day, every day?

I went swimming in the pouring rain, on my bodyboard, and was having a blast until a guy on a paddleboard came up to me and *sternly* told me not to go out to the surf break (which I had no intention of doing), saying that it was dangerous, and that he didn't want the lifeguards to have to go out on their rescue boards.

This really rankled me. Did I really look like such a pathetic neophyte that I needed the warning? There was a gaggle of teenage tourists who were actually headed out to the surf break on those hot pink inflatable rafts, which has to be more dangerous, yet paddleboard dude didn't seem to care. Why did he single me out as the worst grom out there? Rrrrr. I *hate* it when anyone tells me I can't do anything, especially when it's a physical activity (which is almost always when someone tells me I can't do something).

This particular photo elicited a love poem from a photographer in Yemen. It was far less creepy when I figured out he can't really speak English, and also that he is a phenomenal photographer, so I took it as a compliment, and not something stockerish.

I'm still dealing with jetlag from my trip to AZ (and it's only 3 hours difference!). In the space of a week and a half, I've flipped my schedule pretty much by 12 hours. So now I am up and ready to go at 4:30am, and crashing by 10pm. It's just weird.


The other news, is that I just found out that the Waikiki Zoo, which is just down the street from where I live, had an incident with an escaped tiger on Thursday. Luckily, there are a zillion and twelve tourists between me and the zoo so any hungry, angry, escaped tigers have plenty to munch on before I'd ever encounter them.

Okay, I just took another series of self portraits. I was experimenting with a makeup design for an upcoming model shoot, and I wanted to see how my idea would photograph (result: not as vibrant as I intended). The photos themselves turned out pretty cool I think. The scarf was from Old Navy, I loved the texture, and I was inspired to do some shots evocative of the "Sheik" films from the twenties.

I grew up with dogs, I love dogs, I relate better to dogs than I do to people. For the first time, I live someplace where I could potentially have a dog (my neighbor has a pair of bratty, barky, badly behaved kneebiters). Of course I have to work up the courage to ask my landlord (to not be crushed when he says no).

The thing is, I've pretty much gotten through this latest bout of depression, but it has been replaced by another sadness -- loneliness. For the past few months, I have telecommuted almost exclusively (another argument for a dog -- I'm always home). I interact more with the nightstaff at Denny's than I do with my co-workers, and it is beginning to weird me out. I don't need a lot of interaction with people, I am pretty much a loner by nature, but I need at least one intelligent conversation a day with a human face to face that doesn't involve the exchange of money for goods. Granted, I can't converse with a dog, but caring for and interacting with a dog would certainly assuage the loneliness, if not eliminate it (and hopefully my social anxiety as well). Also, I refuse to become a catlady, which I think I am of very great risk of becoming (cats *love* me for some reason -- and there have been at least four occasions where one has tried to adopt me; if I don't get a dog soon I might cave in to the next cat that tries it).

I had a real thrill today! I was swimming in front of the Royal Hawaiian Hotel (the pink thing), and two teenage girls on body boards were swimming near me. All of a sudden I heard squeals and screams. I looked over and saw the head of a sea turtle (about the size of a softball). It had come up for air. It was really huge. I stayed in my spot, a respectful distance from the turtle, while the girls flailed and splashed towards shore. It was pretty hysterical. Later they came back and hovered around me asking me questions about turtles and sharks. They even called me "brave" for not being freaked out about waves, whitewater, sharks, turtles, or rocks, which is sort of funny because I do get freaked out about swimming in the ocean -- but I guess it is all relative.

It looks like the verb "to swede" will permanently enter the English language. It was invented by director Michel Gondry for his upcoming film "Be Kind, Rewind", which is still a couple of weeks away from hitting theaters, and hasn't had any kind of mainstream advertising. Sweding means to make some over again, in a "homesewn" and ridiculously inexpensive fashion, specifically feature films, and this is the basic premise of Gondry's movie.

What's cool is that on Youtube, several of sweded movies have turned up, including Die Hard, Goldfinger, Rambo, and Kill Bill. One of the best is The Lord of the Rings:

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Who knows how long this fad may last, but it taps into something we all did (especially those of us who are geeky) deep in childhood, acting out our favorite films and TV shows around the neighborhood (Star Trek was a particular favorite, with everyone fighting to be Spock), just as previous generations acted out their favorite books and stories. With YouTube, and a newfound cultural acceptance of adults at imaginative play, the whole sweding thing suits the current zeitgeist.

Even Michel Gondry, the world's oldest 12 year old, has sweded his own trailer for his sweding movie, where he plays every role -- his Jack Black as Jessica Tandy is hilarious -- all made funny to the point of tears by his French accent:

It's a very Promethean moment in history people. Apparently, Craig Venter (the guy who's lab was first to sequence the human genome) has announced that he has created a man-made genome. It hasn't been inserted into a cell, but if it did, it would be the first instance of man-made life created from scratch. This puts another nail in the creationism coffin!

There a lot of implications for this development, both good and bad (which is probably why the genome hasn't been introduced into a cell just yet, which is arguably the easiest part of the whole business).

So, let's look at the good first:

• we are no longer restricted by evolutionary changes and genome editing (like GM foods), in the type of life available to us, to develop into or exploit
  
• the prospect of terraforming using custom-made life suited to harsh environments is now brought closer to reality (this formed the basis of my novel "Terrans' End")
• this could be a useful tool in developing energy alternatives (think about solar loving organisms more efficient than plants at storing and transforming the Sun's energy -- heck, we could probably make organisms that made fossil type fuels using solar energy and nasty global warming inducing hydrocarbons in the atmosphere)
• we are a step closer to merging biology with other man-made technologies (think silicon chips and neurons, or smart materials, or nanotechnology).
  
• engineering genomes from scratch and treating organisms as whole units is a more holistic approach to bioengineering than genetic manipulation, and it may renew interest in a top-down approach in other engineering disciplines
• this is a huge potential advance for medicine, and may change the way we approach the manufacture of pharmaceuticals and vaccines, potentially lowering costs (as bacteria genetically manipulated to produce insulin has eliminated the need for insulin to be harvested from cadavers and other animals), and allowing more people access to essential medications
• this will undoubtedly advance our knowledge of evolution and how life came to be in the first place (though probably will not entirely illuminate the mystery)

Now for the bad:

• "gray goo" -- this is a danger of nanotechnology, but applies here as well. There is risk that a manufactured organism, that has not been subjected to selection pressures over a great period of time, could at worst take over the entire biomass of the planet. This is not likely, but at this early point, where we have proven ourselves so inept at understanding and respecting ecology, it needs to be kept in consideration
• there is potential for invasive new species to take over ecological niches and crowd out indigenous species -- this is the less extreme version of the above. We may not know enough about ecology and evolution to understand beforehand, how an new organism may react or affect the environment if it is "let loose" or is introduced to someplace outside the lab (I predict zombie movies hinging on this premise)
• new organisms may integrate and alter indigenous organisms (particularly plants that have complex and cross-species sex) in ways that alter the environment, or alter species in a way many cultures may find offensive
• this could be used to create bio-weapons (maybe ravenous monsters (like "Clover") set loose on a city, or more likely a single-cell creature unleashed to poison a water supply -- bad people have vivid imaginations too)
  
• this whole business is anathema for huge swaths of the human population. The very concept of man creating life undermines many religious principles, especially in monotheistic cultures. This could cause social unrest similar or exceeding in magnitude to the anger against genetic manipulation of the human food supply or stem cell research
  

I am really excited -- this opens up so many possibilities. We would be astoundingly stupid not to develop this technology further, even if we end up choosing not to apply it. I am of the opinion that our planet is in the middle of it's worst extinction event -- caused by humans. We have a lot of tools at our disposal to try to patch up the problem -- but I think this will be our single most important and useful tool for fixing the situation, and then going on (in the far future) to bring life to the universe where it does not exist -- IMHO, the most moral goal of any intelligent civilization. Whether or not we are up to the challenge, or smart enough to wield this tool with wisdom and care, remains to be seen.

Yesterday I went to the monthly RWA meeting (still feel awfully guilty for not paying dues -- while I support my local chapter of writers, I don't feel any kinship or allegiance with the national organization). Anyway, I was glad I went this time, even though I didn't really get any sleep and had to be up and ready by 9am (which is usually the middle of the night to me). The speaker was professor Craig Howes of UH. He is the director of a biography center -- part of an obscure discipline of writing (there are something like five or so of these centers throughout the world). He is also an expert in Thackery's Vanity Fair, and seems to know a great deal about Punch magazine. It sounds like it should be boring, but the dude was remarkably fascinating. It's just amazing when someone is excited about something they are in interested in -- and are able to communicate not just information but their excitement as well. I wanted to take his courses at UH! It wasn't just me -- everyone in the room was riveted.

The coolest part is that he was extremely cordial, and offered to meet with anyone about their writing! I'm really excited. I've had an idea for a screenplay on the back burner because it is based on true history and I wasn't sure how to approach it -- so now I can talk to an expert in the field, which is totally invaluable.

After the meeting, Leslee and I had lunch and she read a new piece I started. I was inspired after reading Chuck Palaniuk for the first time. I loved how he built up a story, rather like a person actually remembers things than a completely linear narrative. He filled in details and retraced scenes. Over the past several months I've tried to become a broader reader and try genre's and authors I would not have otherwise approached. This has really opened my mind about how I can be a better writer, and bring in new tools. I don't want to copycat anyone, but the more techniques I can understand and master, the better a writer I think I can become.

The piece Leslee read is called "Zero Player Game". It is intended to be an experiment, so it may or may not be completely fleshed out. It's based on an idea I discussed about a year or so ago with my friend Steve. We were talking about how it would be neat to have a story set in an environment where everything is legal. We agreed it was intriguing and cool, but I didn't go anywhere with it (it just nestled in the deep recesses of my mind and hibernated for awhile). Since I didn't know where to go with the idea, I though the Palaniuk techniques (or my impression of what they are) would be a great way to see if I could flesh out the story idea.

I started with a simple paragraph, just stuff that came to me:

I am a judge. I get a large office and a government stipend. I get a large car that likes leaded gasoline. I have the use of a sprawling luxury apartment midway up Liberty Tower. The best perks are the bribes.

Pretty pedestrian. Next I went through and started adding between the sentences, using that first paragraph as a rough sketch. The cool thing about the technique is that it is very fast. I don't have to think about what goes where too much, in terms of time sequences. It pretty much throws out all the writing logic I learned in high school, and it is actually really natural. I think the technique is worth exploring further.

This is part of the section that came from the line about the office:

I get a large office and a government stipend. The office sits like a morbidly obese frog in the middle of a brackish pond. The room itself is wide and long and squat, government green carpeting, rimmed with black walnut flooring and an insulating layer of old law books stretching from floor to ceiling, from back in the day when there were laws on books. No windows. The room is dead-center in Building A of capitol judicial sub-complex H, twelve floors up, with eleven floors above, a labyrinth of green carpeting, black walnut, sallow lighting, and faintly phthalate smells from the electronics snuggled between walls and floors and ceilings. All the judges' quarters are in the center of the building, a layered column shielded with extra concrete -- under New Law the judges act as temporary governors if all other government systems fail. This is something I try not to think about too much, though it does lend my duties a satisfying feeling of gravity. The stipend isn't much to talk about -- it is a nominal token to legitimize the job.

It's not the best selection, admittedly, but comparatively blog friendly for a general readership. I really had a blast writing it, but was still unsure. I feel like I still have a hard time communicating with readers. I lot of people miss important points if I don't spell something out in excruciating detail. I may be too nuanced, I may had stuff too locked up in my head, or the readers aren't capable of getting it (which I think is arrogant to think, but it's always in the back of my mind when someone gives me a weird critique).

Leslee didn't connect with the first page at all, and reread it several times stumbling over stuff. Most of her blocks were very valid -- just from crappy first draft mistakes. But what bothered me was that she was lost, and couldn't get a grip on the story -- and she was bothered by the nonlinearity. The latter worries me a bit -- older readers don't seem to get that one, while younger readers clue in -- so I don't know if I need to retool or if I am fine (my target reader is younger and geekier). Anyway, I am rambling. I do love experimenting though, I feel some real growth as a writer.

I have insomnia again (and sadly I was just distracted by a claymation segment on Sesame Street), and I'm really happy about it :-) As annoying as it is, it's my key indicator of a normal mood, so I think I'm finally crawling out of the severe depression hole. When I have depression I can spend a lot of hours of the day unconcious, which is not terribly productive. I was actually able to sleep through the construction next door -- now it is extremely difficult. My mind is also churning again, which has been fantastic for my fiction. I still have a long way to go before I'm back to my version of normal (and I still have bad anxiety attacks), but there is definitely progress here.