Someday I would like to get more than 4 hours of sleep. I have so much work to do every day lately. That's great but I haven't been able to get out and enjoy Hawaii much. Anyway, here's the latest physics article:

Cymatics: the Art of Sound

Read the blog too, it's about cymatics and Rosslyn Chapel (of the "Da Vinci Code" fame).

I hope she doesn't mind if I post this, but this is an incredible story. My aunt Beverly is my dad's older sister. When she was a teenager she was selected to go to the Olympics but my grandfather forbid it (really uncool of him). She has had a well respected career as an artist. I have yet to meet her but I've talked to her on the phone. My dad didn't have any contact with his family after he left as a teenager, for good reason, and my dad's mother was the cause of the estrangement. My dad reconnected with his sister when I was eighteen, which is why I've not met her. Bev's a great human being and I think my dad has benefited from the contact and he's learned a lot about his childhood that he blocked out.

So, Beverly was recently diagnosed with heart disease, and had to have open heart surgery. That in itself if difficult enough to go through, but what makes it worse is that anesthesia doesn't work on her. It just has no effect and she can't be put under for surgery. Topical anesthetic doesn't work either. The doctors were a little freaked out, and decided to just let her be.

However, Bev of course wanted to live and not have heart problems. She insisted on having the surgery. And so she did, completely awake, with no relief for the pain. I can't imagine what that must have felt like, it's just mind boggling. She came through the surgery fine, but my god! I'm just flabbergasted. I had never heard of anyone doing that. The only thing similar is when soldiers went through amputations without anesthetic during the Civil War. But that's still a big difference from having your chest pried open and having someone fiddle around with your organs while you're awake.

My dad was really concerned about me as well. I've never had to be put under for anything so we don't know if anesthesia works on me. There's a good chance that it doesn't. When I had my wisdom teeth out I required several times the amount of novocaine as other patients, and my dentist expressed great marvel at that fact. When I had a precancerous skin tumor removed from my back, the topical anesthesia didn't work very well and I could feel the scalpel dig into my skin. When I was in the hospital with my kidney stone a couple of years ago the paramedics gave me as much morphine as they could but it didn't quell the pain at all (the pain periodically subsided and then I was in morphine heaven, but it didn't do anything for my pain receptors). Vicodin just makes my skin feel like it is crawling with fire ants. Percacet makes me feel stoned, but doesn't help with pain. Ibuprofen takes forever to kick in. Aspirin makes me nauseous. Aleve does work, but if that's the only thing I could take as a painkiller for surgery, I don't know.

I'm a little freaked out about ever having to have surgery. My mom suggested talking to a physician about it and to see if there is anyway to get tested. If I ever had to make the decision that Bev had, I would choose the same thing. The fact that she came through means that it is possible, it's just a matter of will power.

... with a car! I was saddened to turn in my rental car earlier (yesterday now I guess). What joy! What freedom! I went all around the island and only used up half a tank of gas!

The car was a Ford Focus hatchback. Before this, I would never have considered buying a Ford, I mean, Found On Road Dead. However the car handled splendidly and had plenty of zip. The leather seats helped the experience as well. My phobia of driving over overpasses and emerging from the Pali tunnel nearly disappeared. Parking in the ubiquitous compact spaces here was super easy. Best of all, when I was parked next to Kealoha's similar sized hatchback on Sunday I realized the Focus was long enough to hold a surfboard (I'm really trying to get up the gumption to try surfing and make it a life habit). My friend Leslee has the non-hatchback version of the Focus and she said that it is definitely not a lemon and very easy to maintain.

Best of all, the Focus gets 32 mpg. It makes paying $3.35/gal seem not so unreasonable. Right now I don't think it is the best idea to have a car - I'm uneasy about the oil supply and feel better about making a stab at being green. Parking in downtown is costly plus there is all the money that would be spent on insurance and maintenance. The only time I would want/need a car is on weekends so I can get out and really enjoy Hawaii. Leslee suggested that I could rent one weekend a month, and I'm beginning to think that's a fantastic idea. It would certainly be affordable.

Lately I've felt that I haven't set aside enough time to write fiction (and that was the point of moving to Hawaii). So, inspired by my mother's crazy habit of writing in her journal every single day for 35+ years (I am not kidding), I've decided to write a story a day. Fortunately, I'm not making myself write very long stories. I probably won't post anything longer than a 1000 words. The point of this is to mature my writing. Writing so much non-fiction kind of puts you in this weird non-fiction voice where you sound like thousands of other writers. You conform to be understood - but fiction is also about having a unique voice, and I want to develop mine.

Story-a-Day

I'm going to ask people from my writing group if they want to join, and if anyone out there is a writer I am inviting you as well. Anything pretty much goes. You will have to have a Google account, but who doesn't these days. And you can't be a creepy nut! I've had enough of those. Bleh. Share your thoughts, most types of comments welcome but don't make me turn on comment moderation on this blog as well my peeps!

I started out the day with a raging headache - the paint fumes in my new place really don't agree with me, I'm still getting over a cold, and I've probably had less than 12 hours of sleep over all of last week. I had to do an interview today, which I had really been looking forward to, a poet named Kealoha who developed the slam scene here in Hawaii. I should have spent a lot more time prepping and doing research, plus my printer wasn't hooked up yet (hadn't even had time to take it back out of the box), so I didn't think to print out directions to where the interview was going to be. It felt like the whole thing was going to collapse in on me.

However, the interview ended up being fantastic. I threw out any notion of writing down questions in advanced, partly because I hadn't had time, but also because I had been listening to a Salon podcast that I unconsciously used as a model. We ended up having a really interesting conversation instead of a formal interview, which fits more with the direction of the magazine I did the interview for. I recorded the audio in GarageBand on my Mac, which was easier than using a voice recorder, and I could automatically edit and save, and see how it was recording.

The photoshoot was harder. I was working with raw format for the first time, and it totally ate up my CF card. In the future I need to have several cards on hand. My Canon also freezes momentarily when it is saving files of such a high resolution, so it was a little frustrating not being able shoot as quickly as I'm used to (plus Kealoha is really animated, so he was in a new great pose every half second). I'm very excited and I think this will turn out well. Best of all, I think I may have made a new friend!

I've been going to the tiny Foodland in Ala Moana for awhile because they have lots of cheap and funky foods, without completely cryptic labeling (Daiei, an odd Japanese based discount chain, has lots of cheap funky food, but I'm afraid to try a lot of it because I haven't a clue - even my limited Japanese can't help me decipher some of the crazy brand names - for instance, the beverage "Sweat"). That Foodland has recently closed for renovations, and I've since stumbled across a massive Foodland in Ewa (pronounced EVva).

Earlier today I moved a couple of miles from Kapolei to Kalaeloa (haven't a clue how to pronounce that). Kalaeloa is down the road from Ewa (easier to get to by bus than Kapolei), and this Foodland is in a stripmall with both a Starbucks and a Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf (better coffee than Starbucks, and you get an hour of free internet with the purchase of a beverage). There is also a well-stocked Longs drugstore, a great source for inexpensive surfboards.

The Ewa Foodland is a sparkling jewel - containing all the facets I liked best from all the mainland grocery stores I've been missing. They have among other things:

• Amy's rice crust pizza
• Organic buffalo burgers (the only red meat my stomach will tolerate)
• Beets and Sweets (beet and sweet potato chips - to which I have an unrelenting addiction)
• An actual produce section (getting decent produce in Hawaii is a big issue)
• Seventh Generation recycled paper towels

Plus there is all the funky Hawaiian (4 different types of fresh Ahi poke for instance) and Asian foods. Yay!

I attended a weekend writer's workshop "retreat" awhile ago, and one of the organizers took pictures. I don't remember being photographed, but here I am. You can also browse the entire album (including a slideshow, interestingly enough). Playwright Y York is standing behind me with her back to the photographer.

Okay, so after my typically excessive rate comparison, I nailed a pretty good rate from Hotwire.com, $20/day on a compact (always get the compact over the economy, it's just not worth bumping your knees on the steering wheel to save like $5 overall). I thought it was pretty good for a long weekend.

The whole point of getting a rental was initially two-fold. 1) I'm moving against my will because two of my roommates separated, which means the three of us who remained in the house had to move (I'm not even going to go into that because it's just not something worth being upset about). This is turning into a repeat of my experiences in Iowa. I want to move my computers and camera equipment myself. I don't care how careful the movers might be, my electronic equipment are my precious gems (oh, I've got my eye on the Panasonic DVX 100 camera - $1,800, professional quality DV - it's the camera I lusted over that Vincenzo Natali had at the A Dog's Breakfast premiere. That's really sad that I remembered that just from seeing it once. Ahem, anyway). 2) I have an interview and photoshoot on Sunday, and this is a huge deal for me - it's my first feature magazine article, and having a feature byline (can't stress the feature part of it enough) bumps my non-fiction writing career up an order of magnitude. I need to be zen so I don't screw things up, and I don't want to have to worry about lugging camera equipment around on TheBus. It would take me at least 3 buses to get to the destination! I love being green but sheesh.

Anyway, there is a third hidden reason I came up with to justify renting for Monday as well. 3) Since it is a holiday and I don't have to work (my day job at least), I'm taking a mini-vacation to tool around the island. I may even shell out $20 for a bodyboard since I've seen people take them on TheBus even though it is supposedly against the rules. It would be fun to return the rental car decorated with a healthy layer of sand. I haven't visited the ocean in about 2 weeks, and it is about high time I did. Considering I now work in a highrise right next to Honolulu harbor that's pretty sad actually. I should visit the ocean for lunch sometime.

I was looking at different travel sites to find the best rate for a rental car for this weekend (I have too much to do and TheBus won't cut it) and I got distracted and ended up looking at prices for a cruise around the world.

So, to sail on Cunard's Queen Victoria (maiden voyage December 2007), around the world for 106 days, stopping in 25 countries, it costs about $21,500. That breaks down to $200/day, which is actually kind of reasonable for a vacation. That price is for one person, so if you went with a friend or in a group the per day would be less. I don't think that includes food.

I know you can do the same thing for cheaper (and a lot faster) by plane, but there is just something so cool and James-Bondy about cruising around the world. I've always wanted to do an around the world trip, but ideally it'd be with Virgin Galactic and it would take less than a day (though I think it's going to cost in the neigborhood of $200,000 at least).

This one was rather fun to do:

What's in a Vacuum?

I think this one might get a lot of hits (who hasn't wondered about the nothingness?). This reminds me of one of my favorite films:

Nothing

I bought an iPod Shuffle yesterday. I already have an mp3 player, but the thing eats AAA batteries like there's an infinite supply of nickel and cadmium. The Shuffle recharges through my Mac, syncs with iTunes, and holds a whopping gig. My other mp3 player only holds 128mb - so it has just become my second USB drive.

The Shuffle purchase was half impulse. I had been ruminating about it for awhile - nearly everyone who rides TheBus has an iPod of some flavor (peer pressure?), and it makes sense. I spend at minimum 2 hours a day commuting, so I might as well put that time to better use. I can read and write on the bus but it is not optimal. Wearing headphones *usually* signals to others that you are not interested in talking story. I'm a polyglot wannabe, I've studied all sorts of languages, and there are a ton of language podcasts. I'm starting out by brushing up my French and Dutch. I'm looking for a good Latin podcast but haven't found one yet. Maybe soon I can get back to Japanese and Korean. German, Gaelic, and Hawaiian (which I haven't really studied at all) are on my wishlist as well. I'll also be listening to Dane Cook, Mugglecast, and Salon.

View Full Screen     View Photos on Kindfish

I created a myspace page. Personally, I don't think anyone over the age of 25 ought to have one, but since so many artists, musicians, and filmmakers use myspace, and myspace blocks content unless you are a member, perplexingly (probably to get more members), I decided to go ahead and do it. I don't really plan on posting much, but since I seem to be producing a lot of animations it might be a good place to round up an audience for my YouTube account.

In other news, I went to Kailua today with a friend (she was getting her oil changed at her dealership on the Windward side). We ate a pancake breakfast a Big City Diner, which was cheap and good. Before I left I felt compelled to take my camera. I'm trying to get in the habit of dragging either the DSLR or the camcorder with me wherever I go. I took the camcorder with me to the poetry slam on a whim and basically ended up shooting enough incredible footage for a short documentary. Anyway, I decided on the DSLR. When I entered the diner I knew why I had felt compelled (spooky). I had never been there before but the booths were exactly what I was looking for to film a commercial for a contest Heinz is putting on. The table even had a bottle of Heinz ketchup prominently displayed. Should have brought the camcorder.

While we were in Kailua we also visited my favorite bookstore on the island, BookEnds, a scruffy but clean and bright used/new bookstore. Highly recommended!

Now I am very sick. I'm hoping it is just a cold and not the flu. I can't tell if I have a fever because the ambient temperature is very warm.

Today as I was waiting to transfer between buses, I got caught up in a rather one-sided conversation with an older lady. I think I caught only about half of what she said, she spoke Pidgin, so I was glad it was one-sided. I'm still getting used to the fact that it is socially acceptable in Hawaii for total strangers to have lengthy conversations. Here it is called "talking story", or gossiping really.

I think her name was Monique. She works at a factory that makes scrubs and sleeping bags for school children (??). She assembles, pinning I think, the pieces that are sewn later on by others. She said that she tried once to sew a sleeping bag, but that "It gave me the horrors!" which is a phrase I just love. She prefers to sew bright colorful scrubs with Hawaiian prints "not the ugly things".

Monique also puts together some sort of Hawaiian doll. Not sure how that is connected to scrubs and sleeping bags. She enjoys dressing them because she is the only worker who knows how to put the sleeves on the dolls properly.

She talked a lot about "cruisin". I originally thought it meant driving around, but I think in Pidgin it might simply mean hanging out. Based on the context of how she said it, this would make the most sense.

Before she got off the bus she told me where to find the best roast duck on the Leeward side. I rarely eat meat, but roast duck is one of my favorites, so that is defintely useful!

Yesterday, my best friends' dog BabyGirl passed away. She was affectionately known as BBG, and was adopted from a not so great owner back in New York. She was mischievous and often misbehaved, but got away with it because she always had a twinkle in her eye and she was just so darn cute. She was a loyal and loving companion to her family. She leaves behind two fellow adoptees, Griff and Angel, and four people, Sam, Steve, Adam, and Aric. She will be most remembered for her hearty but off-key rendition of "Happy Birthday" (we celebrated her birthday many times throughout the year just to hear her sing along). She is very missed.

Here is the article:


Reflection vs. Refraction

This one always annoyed me in school, and I kept forgetting what the heck refraction was. I think I've nailed an easy explanation, and I also tied it in with quantum mechanics simply because I like to know how macroscopic phenomena arises from quantum phenomena. Actually I could have gone into more detail, but then the article wouldn't have been focused on reflection and refraction. (Hmmm. Too many optics double entendres perhaps?)

I've been really stressed out the last couple of days due to a roommate situation I shouldn't really discuss here. I even yelled at a gecko that freaked me out. Sometimes I feel like I'm living outdoors (not that that's necessarily a bad thing in Hawaii because the daily high is *ALWAYS* 85 degrees, and the nightly low is *ALWAYS* 75 degrees).

Anyway, fueled by my stress, I created the supercool animation you see below. Enjoy!




In other news, I've been hired to work at a supercool (can I use that twice in one post?) software company downtown. I'm very excited :-) More info to come.

I just got my first YouTube subscriber - Charles Petit who is a French film director. He directed a video for Etienne Charry, the orchestral electronica genius, which is on the DVD Aube Radieuse (which translates to "radiant paddle" - still trying to figure out that one). Yay!

I brought my latest short story to the writing group tonight, and even though I let everyone know it was just a first draft, it still got ripped apart. I was afraid I had made the same mistake that I had made with "Factory Day", i.e. not describing the alien environment in a clear way (one reader thought that it took place in Alabama, not on an alien planet).

I think I get wrapped up in trying to be different, and I know at least with this story, it was just coming out so quickly that I really didn't "craft" it. I wasn't paying attention to the reader's perspective. That can be fixed with rewrites (just an aside, but a lot of the workshops I've been going to seem to focus on jumpstarting creativity, but I think I actually need to reign in my imagination, I have a hard time not just letting in unspool in a big mess, so the workshops have been aggravating).

The good thing is that most people loved the story, or at least loved where it was going. That's really good. I seem to be able to capture people's attention with my ideas - now I just have to work on not confusing them.

The most perplexing criticism came from Leslee. She didn't like that the story was completely devoid of humans, and explained that you have to have a human perspective in order to tell a story in human terms. I understand where she was coming from (and I have a lot of respect for her), but I had to disagree (the other sci-fi people did too). I think partly she was trying to nudge me away from the nonhuman stories that I've been fixating on (partly because I feel so darn alien on this fucked up planet), and partly because for most people there is a natural anthropic bias. That may very well be a generational thing. I grew up with smurfs, my little ponies, transformers, and Star Wars; I've been preconditioned to not think so anthropically. I'll have to think more about her comments, if only to understand the potential frustration of readers to such an alien landscape.

Roz, another writer in the group (and the closest to me in age), offhandedly suggested that I write about a human character who is extremely non-human. I'm going to take her up on that, I think that I can go to some very interesting places with it.

We had two new people in the group. I think we shocked one, and I would be surprised if he showed up again. The other brought nothing to share, but she had some really intelligent insights and we all agreed that we'd love to have her again (hopefully she brings writing samples).

I was recently emailed by the creator of a KDE fork to wmnet:

kwmnet

I was thinking about how long wmnet has been around - Jesse created it nearly 10 years ago now. It's just amazing how popular it has been. The whole WindowMaker app thing foreshadowed the current widget craze. I guess we were all blazing trails back then with our unfettered love for open source. I feel like our generation has been able to contribute to society, though a lot more quietly than previous generations. Maybe we are the builder generation. Maybe I need some sleep.

If you haven't run across "YouTube Lasse" before, you really ought to check him out. I can't believe he is just 22, and probably one of the most innovative filmmakers around right now. He's been working on the video below for the last 5 months, and actually hand edited each frame in photoshop. This is part one of two, and be sure to check out his other videos, particularly "Amateur" and "Us":

My friend Lynde Lakes from my writing group has just published an e-book:

Midnight Destiny

So if you are into paranormal romance novels, be sure to check it out and support a writer!

Test of Auction Ads:

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I was playing around with Yahoo Pipes for about an hour, but have yet to figure out how to make a widget - the only output seems to be an RSS feed, so I think the widgety bit is up to me, or a 3rd party. Rrrr. Pipes is really cool, but kind of hard to use (takes me back to the VB days. God I feel old).

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Double-click on any word!

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The time in Honolulu (looks like an hour off):

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gotta luv web 2.0:

Here is a sample poll to test you personality type:

PollPub.com Vote

Of these choices, which is your favorite movie?

Citizen Kane
Beaches
South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut
Willard
The Wiz!
Time Bandits
The Towering Inferno



View Results

Poll powered by PollPub.com Free Polls

Here is the article:

What is Osmosis?

I went to Starbucks last night, intent on buckling down and pounding out a few articles. It was not to be. The there was a boistrous group of people near me who were being swindled into a pyramid scam by a charismatic huckster and made me mad - so I couldn't concentrate. I cracked open one of the books I had with me "The Life and Death of Planet Earth" by Peter D. Ward and Donald Brownlee, who also wrote the revolutionary "Rare Earth". It's really good, because soon enough my imagination had skipped off to Lalaland, and I was ferociously typing a new short story about a terraforming satellite from Alabama that lands in an alien marsh on another planet far far away, killing many of the intelligent beings nestled in the marsh mud in the process.

The story is called "Rock Fall", since the aliens think that the probe is just a very strange asteroid (they live in the mud, they are nowhere near a space program). It was a lot of fun, but I wasn't able to finish the physics article until now.

On Saturday I went to another free writing workshop put on by the RWA Aloha chapter. The topic was dialog, and we had an exercise where we had to write some dialog between two people having dinner together. The title was "Dinner with _______ and _______" the blanks of course implying the names of people. Being the contrarian I am, I would have none of that. One of the characters was to reveal important information to the other by the end. Here is what I came up with:


Jake, a homeless man, is rooting through a fast food dumpster. His companion is Bartholomew, a rat.

Jake: I got barbecue sauce on my shirt again! Why do they have to make these damn sandwiches so sloppy?

Bart: The trick is to lick the sauce off the paper first. It's like an appetizer.

Jake: Why do you always have to interrupt my good rants? Why don't you poke your whiskers into someone else's business?

Bart: I'm only trying to help.

Jake: How can you help me you filthy little runt? What are you going to do, teach me how to run through a sewer without getting my feet wet?

Bart: Actually, the trick is to --

Jake: Ah, shut up! Damnit, you made me drip more sauce on my shirt. I hate you!

Bart: You know, that stain is beginning to look like the Virgin Mary --

Jake: I'll give you an appetizer!

Bart: Hey hold on - I'm trying to tell you something important!

Jake: You're a rat, what do you know? You've got a tiny little brain the size of a pea!

Bart: Fine. I'll just tell you.

Jake: Spill it then. This should be hilarious.

Bart: Be happy friend.

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I waited for what seemed to be an eternity while everyone else finished writing (this so brought me back to highschool). When the presenter asked if anyone wanted to go first, I shot up my hand. Everyone else was reticent and shy. People tend to think I am really shy, but I absolutely love to perform, and sadly, let my ego take over for a bit. I stood up and read the dialog, giving Jake a husky, deep, angry voice, and Bart my falsetto mouse voice. I was slightly embarrassed at how the latter sounded, but it was so much fun and everyone seemed entertained. I have a horrible pride about my imagination, and am always comparing that aspect of myself with others (very bad and dark - bad Kat bad).

Well, a couple of Wednesdays ago actually. I went to Maui on April 25th to see the Dalai Lama. I'm going to talk about the trip and the Dalai Lama separately, because I don't feel comfortable ranting about airplanes, the cost of gas, public transportation and Homeland Security in the same post that I talk about the serenity of the Dalai Lama. It just seems wrong somehow.

Seeing the Dalai Lama speak has been one of the most memorable events in my life. I was a little freaked out about the Homeland Security precautions (I mean, is the Dalai Lama really such a terrorist target? Maybe the Chinese government might want to do him in, but he is really pretty harmless to him. I do get the feeling he might get done in by some nut like how Ghandi died, but the dude isn't really a target for Islamic terrorists).

Once I filed into the stadium and picked out a spot in the bleachers, buffeted by tradewinds and solar photons, I did begin to feel at peace. It was a great time to people watch since the hippie quotient was very high. There were all sorts of hippie people there, milling amongst monks and nuns in various flowing robes. I can't tell a Zen from a Tibetan, but probably every flavor of monk and nun was present.

The vibe was extremely positive. There is an interesting feeling that can descend on an event when everyone there is in a like mind. Very odd. I hadn't felt that way since I attended the post-debate rally after the last presidential debate of 2004 in Tempe. Although that had an anti-Bush acrimonious tone and this was just serenity.

There was a lot of food and trinkets available, and you could only pay with this stuff called scrip. I guess they do the same thing at concerts, but this was the first time I had ever encountered it. I inadvertently bought too much scrip (I just wanted a bottle of water), so I still have some left over. Because I had so much, I ended up buying lunch there, and had some sort of strange mango chicken salad spinach burrito. It was pretty good.

I pretty much people watched (really wished I could have bought a camera), and eavesdropped on the pedestrian conversations of the people around me, until the Dalai Lama arrived. Hippie culture is pleasantly diverse and colorful. I have no idea why hippies and liberals are so incredibly reviled by the conservative members of the population. I just don't get it. Chill peeps, chill. You'll live longer and be happier.

There was no announcement or introduction. Just before the Dalai Lama took the stage the entire audience went silent - with no cue, it was really strange. The people in the front began to stand, then everyone did. The Dalai Lama emerged onto the stage and there was raucous applause. He motioned for us to retake our seats, and we did. The audience fell silent once more.

The Dalai Lama mounted a dais with a great big leather chair in the middle. He sat down and unlaced his shoes, taking them off. He pulled up his legs under him and sat cross-legged in the chair, and adjusted his robes so that the microphone he had on him wouldn't rub against fabric. He looked every bit the humble monk he claimed to be.

There was a translator at the foot of the dais (who the Dalai Lama prompted to come closer, getting the translator into the TV frame - this was being recorded for TV). The Dalai Lama's entourage of monks sat around the floor of the stage. I had to repress visions of martial arts fighting monks, defending the bigboss Dalai Lama from ninjas.

The Dalai Lama began his lecture without pomp or flourish. I was struck by how unshowy he was. This is an incredibly smart man. He gave his lecture tons of cred by taking the humble approach. This was confirmed later on during my flight back when a fundamentalist Christian talked about this aspect in awe to his unfortunate seatmate. He had no prior respect for Buddhism, but had his mind blown by what the Dalai Lama had said, the manner in which he said it, and the fact the Dalai Lama says you don't have to believe what he says is the truth. When I was a kid it was sort of a Sunday tradition for my dad, my brother, and I to roll on the floor laughing at the televangelists who acted like snake oil salesmen. I grouped them with professional wrestlers, entertaining but obviously fake. Only as an adult did I realize that these idiots were actually taken seriously by a large chunk of the population.

Buddhism has been gaining a lot of traction in the west, primarily because it is so friendly and accommodating. Buddhism is a path, not a full on religion. You can slice and dice it and take whatever you need to make your life better without giving up whatever you've already got going on. It is very chilled out and nice.

I would probably be considered a Buddhist because I've incorporated so much Buddhism in my life (it has helped me deal with my anger at society, deal with my emotional issues with my dad, and deal with my social anxiety issues and fear in general (though the book Dune really helped with that too), not to mention my flaming road rage). I'd be a Buddhist, but I prefer being considered a freethinker, even though that is the most reviled and untrusted "religious" minority in the US. Whenever anyone asks me if I "know Christ" or "have a personal relationship with Jesus" I say I am a Buddhist so that I can avoid (mostly) being subjected to the inevitable conversion attempt. One time this lady asked me how often I go to temple. I nearly laughed at her, but I politely explained that being Buddhist doesn't require you to attend any meetings or gatherings of any sort. I could see her dulled neurons trying to digest that thought. Christianity and Islam would be much more palatable religions if people took them as individual paths (I think that's what Jesus intended but his words and intentions have gotten so mangled through the centuries).

Anyway, back to the Dalai Lama. As expected, he talked about compassion, but the main focus of his lecture was cause and effect. The dude actually talked for nearly 3 hours on the nuances of cause and effect. It was really cool for me because it is something I've been mulling over and processing for the last years or so. I had to read a book called "The Quantum Enigma" and it was about, essentially, cause and effect on the quantum level. I knew previously about the famous double-slit experiment, and how light is both a particle and a wave, but until then the full impact and understanding of what that means hadn't fully hit me. Basically light is made of particles that travel in waves, probabilistically. The double-slit experiment reveals in a very simple way that each light particle interferes with its other selves. The implication of this is that we live in many universes. We don't notice the other universes, but light is a simpler thing than our complex chemical selves.

The parallel universe thing has been haunting physicists for decades, and only now are they facing the implications. Basically, every event in the universe takes all possible paths. This is still theoretical, but looks like the most likely explanation logically and mathematically. We as observing beings, get to pick the path we observe, whether we are aware we are doing that or not. Free will, not fate, governs our multiverse.

The Dalai Lama, much to my delight, understands science and physics on at least a lay level. Every fact he referred to was accurate, and he talked extensively about the origin of the universe (I giggled out loud when in a stream of Tibetan he uttered "Big Bang" - the people around me who hadn't caught the word looked at me in awe thinking I understood Tibetan).

He described in great detail how the universe has unraveled itself through the laws of physics and we as thinking, observing beings get to choose our actions and influence the course of the universe in our small ways. I already knew this, but was glad that he was saying this as his words carry so much weight with so many people. This concept has been developed in Buddhist philosophy over thousands of years. It is interesting that it accords so well with the emerging science. Very cool. I've thought for quite some time that when this concept hits a critically mass in culture it can act as a catalyst to transform our civilization into a more thinking, goal oriented entity, meaning that there is still room for us to solve our big problems and avoid planetary collapse. Hell, we might even make it off the planet and have a shot at becoming a K2 civilization.

The Dalai Lama is no Barack Obama or JFK. He is not a smooth talker or showy in the least - but he does have an incredible presence, and was eloquent not in manner but in the content of his words. I remember a scene in the movie Ghandi, were Ghandi was seated cross-legged on a dais with his wife, giving a several hours long speech. People were milling about. Ghandi was humble, but his words had enormous impact. He had something to say, and took the time to say it properly and let it soak into the people who needed to hear it. This day on Maui, listening to the Dalai Lama, for everyone of us that attended, was very much the same. I wonder how that one lecture will change the course of our world through the subsequent actions of the listeners.

I know that going to Maui has affected me in ways I am still just beginning to unravel. I have had lots of very vivid dreams and sleep hallucinations (before and after the trip), and those of you that know me very well know what that implies. It has unlocked a part of my brain, and a self-identity that has given me a tremendous amount of information allowing me to move forward in life in a way I didn't expect, but am relieved to remember. That alone makes the journey to Hawaii worth the stress of living here.

Time Keeps on Ticking

On April 25th I flew to Maui from Oahu. Although the flight was only 37 minutes long, it took a couple of hours to get to the airport, then some more hours waiting at the airport for the flight. I had to take three buses to get to the airport, for a travel time of two hours.

Coming off the flight I had to wait in line half an hour to pick up the rental car (because there is no public transportation on Maui), then after a short drive to the venue parking, and a school bus ride to the stadium, I waited two more hours before the Dalai Lama appeared to give his presentation.

After the event, I waited on another school bus, seated next to a Buddhist nun who busied herself with hand cream and lip gloss (way to used to angry Catholic nuns who would never wear makeup under any circumstances, so I found that very odd), then I waited in the rental car for about 20 minutes for the traffic to clear out of the dirt lot, then I waited in infamous Maui traffic before I could zip out to drive around the island.

I didn't get very far because I was afraid to miss my flight back. I only used about a quarter of a tank of gas and it cost me $12 to refill. Although I really miss the freedom of having a car, skyrocketing gas prices are really making me think twice. I made it back to the airport in time to wait two more hours for my flight back to Honolulu.

The flight was 30 some odd minutes back, then we had to wait on the tarmac for about 15 minutes while the plane got towed back several feet to line up with the drawbridge thingy. I zipped out, glad not to have any luggage, and waited about 5 minutes for the bus back to Ala Moana (a major transfer point). I got on the bus, and we went in the opposite direction towards Hickam Airforce Base.

Yikes! I was the only person on the bus besides the driver, and I had to get off because I wasn't military personnel. I had to wait at the gates in the rain for about half an hour for the bus to come back out. Oddly, it was the same driver but a different bus. Not sure what went on there.

After awhile, I arrived at Ala Moana and had to walk through the deserted mall (creepy) to get to the other side to transfer to the #40. I waited about 45 minutes for the bus. There were several other people there, and this local guy who was waiting for his girlfriend struck up a conversation with me. Apparently, having lived his entire life in Hawaii, he had never been to Maui and was very curious about it. He had been to Kuaui before, and I asked him about that.

Finally the bus came, and it was a long hour and a half back to home. Unfortunately, it was so late, that my neighborhood bus was no longer in service. I had to walk back up the hill, which took about a half hour. The trip from the airport to my house takes 20 minutes by car.

I left the house about 6 in the morning (I was up since 11pm the previous night getting my day's work done so I didn't have to fret about it on the trip), and got back at 2am the next day I think. I had to work some more before I could crash. I was already beginning to feel sick from the sunburn I acquired sweltering in the sun at the stadium for 5 hours. Needless to say, the day was exhausting.

Impressions of Maui

The first thing that struck me about Maui is how completely different it is from Oahu. I guess Oahu is actually the odd island out. Honolulu is the big city of the state and dominates pretty much everything about Oahu. Maui is more laid back than Oahu (you really can't get more laid back without being dead).

The rural landscape is incredibly surreal. Kahului, the "city" where the main airport is, is nestled in the "neck" of the island, which is dominated by two huge dormant calderas. These calderas produce mountains with sweeping slopes, and numerous farm patchwork fields checker the sides. I've never seen anything quite like it, and it is hard to take your eyes off it. It is just gorgeous.

Maui seems to be really haole - haoles seem to be in the majority, but maybe that just means that the tourists make up a significant chunk of the population. Oahu is much more cosmopolitan, with major Japanese, Chinese, Filipino and Polynesian populations, and haoles are a minority (often reviled, the racism has been an odd adjustment for me). Maui is also very hippie.

The Rental Car

I wasn't sure if I would be able to get a rental car - it is always a crapshoot when you use a debit card - but it ended up being super easy, and I even got a discount for being local. Hawaii has an undercurrent of antitourist xenophobia, which is kind of justified because tourists tend to be obnoxious. There is some strange transformation that comes over people when they are on vacation, they seem to give up a lot of their common sense, disconnect half their brain cells, and assume that you are going to cater to them.

I put a lot of work into getting a great deal on the car. I waited until a few hours before I left to book it, knowing that great deals happen when companies are trying to sell every last little thing. The car cost $32, plus insurance of $20. I also got an upgrade to compact, so I wasn't stuck bumping my legs against the steering wheel of some cruddy economy car. The compact was actually cheaper than the economy, so it made sense that way as well.

I can't remember the exact model. It was a Ford, and some sort of station wagon. I've always held a fondness in my heart for station wagons. They seem so practical, and you can stuff a lot into the back if the need arises. It wasn't a gas guzzler, and everything was in the right proportion in the driver's seat. It really, really made me miss my old Saturn. Sigh.

It was great to be able to drive freely around the island. I got stuck in traffic in some town I don't remember the name of. Later I was able to tool around the countryside. It was fantastic. I ended up stopping in Kihei, and went to a beach. It was deserted save for a honeymooning couple. The woman took her top off and I got an unexpected eyeful (probably European tourists) and decided to leave and find something to eat.

I stumbled across a fantastic cafe and had a fantastic avocado and tomato sandwich with the best mocha I've had since Iowa, made especially for me by the waitress/owner (she was really cool for making it because it wasn't on the menu). I wanted to give her a big tip, but could only afford the standard 20%.

I also bought a new purse in Kihei because we weren't allowed to bring any bags into the stadium (curses Homeland Security, curses!). I didn't know if I would be able to get the car, so I just stuffed my pockets with my wallet, phone, and itinerary. I picked up the summer movie preview issue of Entertainment Weekly on the way over, so by the time I got to the cafe I had a whole bunch of junk to tote around. I wanted to get something funky and Hawaiian, but I opted for the cheapest thing I could find - a black woven purse with sequins. I still need to cut the ugly sequins off (partly because the cat loves to tug at them, and partly because they are ugly).

I just wish I had been able to bring my camera - there would have been a lot of great photos.

The Man From Brussels

On the flight over there was some turbulence and I started freaking out a bit. The other problem was that when I looked out the window, the ocean met the sky without any clear division and it was a little disorienting. I never used to be afraid to fly, I used to love it, and have even logged 40 minutes of flight time (that was an extremely cool experience). I had one flight to Vegas from Phoenix back in November 2001, the day after a plane crashed on Long Island due to turbulence. 9/11 was also in the back of my mind, since this was my first flight since then. The plane was racked by really bad turbulence on takeoff, and I nearly screamed out in terror. So that was it - the end of my days of enjoying flying.

A man from Brussels with a carry on skateboard sat two seats over (no one was between us). He was an American. I was immediately attracted to him, so I knew right away that he was gay (for some odd reason, I've only been attracted to gay men for the last 5 or 6 years, and I can't help but feel that all straight men are pedophiles, serial killers, axe murderers, or axe wielding pedophiliac serial killers. I'm sure it is an unfair stereotype to overlay on most guys, but still. Maybe I've watched too much 20/20 in my lifetime).

He noticed that I was freaking out, and he took my hand in his and talked with me about his recent promotion, the week long birthday party of a friend he was going to attend in Maui, gay rights, the Dalai Lama, the relative hotness of James Franco and Topher Grace, his lunch with Kirsten Dunst a few years ago, the coolness factor of Tel Aviv, and assorted other things. It was one of those situation where you instantly know you could be friends, but unfortunately your paths would only cross for the briefest time. Thanks Joseph for your kindness.

FINALLY. I've edited a 4 min clip from the poetry slam. It was an incredibly exciting night, and I'm glad I was able to shoot the entire thing. It almost felt like history was being made - the mood in the room was unbelievable. All the poets were fantastic, but we were also lucky to have Mike McGee, the National Poetry Slam Champion, give a 30 minute performance.

The first video I'm posting is of Mike McGee's "Mycrophone" his first "poem" of the night. There will be more to come, including my friend Malena's performance.

Still waiting. Can't go anywhere because I'm afraid my PC might do something very bad in my absence. So, I've been thinking about all my computer names (some were never named):

• Hal (1995-1997) PC
  
• Unnamed corporate laptop (1997-1998) PC
  
• Pickypicky, later Entropia (1998-2000) Linux
  
• Grasshopper (1999-Present)* Linux
  
• Adversity (2000-Present)* PC
  
• Unnamed used laptop (2001-Present)* PC
  
• Unnamed parts box* PC
  
• Sanctuary (2002-2007) PC
  
• Serendipity (2007-Present) Mac
  

* denotes in storage in AZ. I haven't included computers I had to share, the list would be frighteningly long.

Still waiting for everything to transfer. Meanwhile, Amazon has a crazy discount on this dining room set. And I never thought that it would get into my price range!